by Ashleigh Wilson: Unveiling the Truth About Love…
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. – Rumi
Truth be told I was terrified. I felt as though I was standing at the edge of the water, my arms wide open, waiting for wave after wave to crash into me, knocking me down with such force that I would never be able to stand again. For my heart to give up, for its flutter to die away into nothingness.
I knew it was uninvited insecurities, old stories rising up within, which had placed me in this position.
In reality, instead of being by the crashing ocean’s edge, I lay in a cosy bed, blankets piled comfortingly on top of me. The soft fur and gentle breath of my dog stroking one side of my body, and the warmth of my lover on the other side. I was safe, I was warm, I was loved. So why did I feel such panic, why was there a voice telling me to flee, to escape before I put myself in any more danger?
I had met the man next to me at a time when I had just finished constructing a brand new wall around myself, complete with a state-of-the-art self-locking door and little peephole. I was quite pleased with my work and had no intention of taking down the wall or opening the door any time soon to let another man in. The peephole would suffice.
Then one day there was a knock, I peered out the peephole only to fall into the depths of his eyes. Vast oceans, undiscovered lands and endless possibilities stared back at me. I found myself involuntarily opening the door between us, diving head-first into those eyes and swimming through his love and the profundity of his soul. Whilst I was being distracted with romance, in the far off distance, the wall began to crumble away.
The wound is the place where the Light enters you. ― Rumi
Love Cannot Hurt Me
There have been many times in our so-far short relationship when I have been happily lost in the highs, floating around on the brilliance of our connection or have desired only to read more of his story. And naturally, there have been times when the remnants of my ever-disappearing wall have tripped me up. During these stumbles, the fear would creep in, I would feel myself start to back slowly away, picking up pieces of the wall, readying myself for a possible rebuild.
But that night as I lay in his arms and saw myself before the sea’s mercy, I suddenly dropped the pieces of the wall I held, a realisation swam to the forefront of my mind:
This man and the love we share could not hurt me.
For our love is not skin deep. It will not suddenly wash away. It is a love that has changed me; changed us. A love that weaves a healing spell. Of course, one day, a goodbye will inevitably come; perhaps it will be when we are great-grandparents, holding hands on our deathbeds, or perhaps an unexpected turn will lead us on separate paths in the near future. It saddens me to think of this time and the possibility of a premature parting of ways, yet I know that regardless of how long we journey together, his love will not leave me, and his indelible trace of kindness, compassion and wisdom will rest eternally on my heart. Our souls have bonded and that cannot change.
Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation. – Rumi
When it is time for our elderly family members or pets to leave, we do not wish we didn’t have them in our lives, instead we cherish the love and memories that are left within us. We may grieve their loss, but ultimately, our hearts have grown in their presence. It is a fine line between attachment and non-attachment. Possession and freedom. It’s a great mirror of our own integrity, trust and surrender. We must follow love and honour love. Any control over that spontaneous tenderness is like throwing a wet blanket over a delicate flame. This is the great challenge and in my heart I believe that through it, a truer romantic love can evolve and stand the test of time.
I am now trusting that this honest and real love will create ruins of the wall I had built, standing as a beautiful shrine of remembrance. It will be a place to stand, a place to invite my lover, my friends, my family and others to recall the power of the heart.
They say love is a contradiction … it gives everything and wants nothing in return. When two people merge in romantic love, committing to the journey together, and embracing pearls of Rumi wisdom, they both receive an overflowing, radiating and expansive abundance.