by Cui Hui’ao: One way of understanding Asian societies is through the family…
The concept of Xiao, or filial piety, has been a part of Chinese values for a very long time. Today it remains an important pillar of the Chinese family structure.
At this family in downtown Shanghai, 71-year-old Chen Zukang lives with his wife at a cozy bedroom. As usual, his son Chen Lei brings his wife and daughter to visit him at his apartment. While the rest of the family watches TV in the living room, Chen starts preparing a typical but straightforward Shanghainese meal.
He says since he has retired, there is one thing that he looks forward to every day: the entire family enjoys his cooking together. “We pretty much eat as a family every day, and I love cooking for my kids. They spend time with us, eat what I prepare for them, and show their love and respect. To me, that is filial piety.”
Chen says compared to decades ago, when he was taking care of his parents, the definition of filial piety has changed. It’s no longer solely about providing material comfort for the old, but also now focuses on their spiritual and mental wellbeing. For example, Chen’s daughter-in-law Tang Lingyun has her methods of making them happy.
“They both love traveling, and we do our best to take them with us to see the world, which was something they weren’t able to do when they were young. We’ve been to many places like California and Hawaii. And they enjoy it a lot.” says Tang.
Now, Chen and his son’s family live in the same neighborhood, within just walking distance of each other. The physical proximity allows more family bonding time and more convenience for taking care of each other.
“There was one time my wife had high blood pressure and wasn’t feeling well. We called our son, and he got here within minutes and took her to the hospital.” Chen told CGTN.
Three Chinese characters of “xiao”(L), “lao”(R1) and “zi”(R2) are written on the whiteboard. /CGTN Photo
An important concept of Confucius’s thinking, filial piety is now finding a new interpretation in contemporary Chinese society. But certain aspects of it remain unchanged. The Chinese character “Xiao” can illustrate filial piety. The character is a combination of the characters “lao,” which means old, and “zi,” which means son. This placement is symbolic and very much telling of what filial piety means to Chinese people.
A sociologist at Shanghai’s Academy of Social Sciences Lu Zhen says the concept of filial piety stems from the survival need of an agricultural society where parents take charge of production and support their children. “In return, children carry their parents when they are old. It is based upon blood relations, and is fundamentally different from western individualism.”
Professor Lu says no matter how Chinese society evolves, this value of filial piety will remain as the pillar of the family structure. In his words, it is all about a balance between family and individual, and filial piety is that stabilizer.
