by Megan Larson: As a child psychotherapist and meditation practitioner,
I am often amazed at the resilience of the children and parents I encounter daily. The pace of our modern world is fast, overscheduled, and overstimulated. Our dependence on screens and devices has impacted our connection with our bodies and minds, keeping us constantly occupied and entertained. In this fast-paced reality, boredom has become the dreadful black hole that children of this modern era hate. As a child of the 80s, we were constantly bored and would find creative ways to navigate it by playing outside, putting on fashion shows, and so much more.
Does allowing children to be bored and finding ways to sit with ourselves actually hold the keys to our well-being and happiness? Although it may sound counterintuitive, being able to be with whatever is occurring may indeed be a superpower. This aligns beautifully with the core tenets of Dzogchen. Dzogchen teaches us to recognize and rest in our natural state of pure awareness, a state that is inherently still, open, and free from the constant striving for external stimulation. The question then arises: how do we train ourselves and our children to learn to be with what is in moments of boredom, and to tap into this innate superpower of stillness?
The answer may lie in the power of meditation and its influence on our neurological networks in our brain. Meditation can mean many things. It can be meditation on an object or letting all objects go by. For children, meditation can involve teaching them how to come into contact with the present moment through games like “I spy,” where they engage with what they see, hear, feel, smell, and touch. Any practice that slows us down to notice what’s happening within our internal world can be considered a meditation. The word “meditation” itself actually means “to become familiar with.” One might ask, “What are we learning to be familiar with?” The answer is our mind and bodies, and in the context of Dzogchen, we are becoming familiar with the vast, open, and luminous nature of our own awareness, beyond the fleeting thoughts and emotions.
I was recently talking with someone who told me she can’t meditate because she can’t sit still or get her thoughts to stop. This is a huge misconception about meditation, as that is not the point. The point is to notice with awareness the thoughts, feelings, and sensations without attaching to or rejecting anything that shows up. This is actually a radical practice where we begin to make friends with our internal world, revealing we might not actually be who we thought we were after all. Dzogchen emphasizes this non-dual awareness, where we simply observe the arising and dissolving of phenomena without judgment, recognizing them as expressions of our own mind, rather than separate entities. This practice of “resting in natural great perfection” allows us to experience the inherent peace and clarity that is always present, even amidst the chaos of thoughts.
Here are some ways to help cultivate present moment awareness with children and in everyday life, drawing inspiration from the principles of Dzogchen:
- Sacred Pauses: Cultivating the Ground of Being
Every day, find mini moments to stop what you’re doing and take a sacred pause. This isn’t just a break; it’s an intentional return to your inherent stillness. Place your hand on your heart and recognize your aliveness at this moment in time. Instead of just affirmations or gratitudes, delve deeper into the feeling of gratitude and aliveness. Encourage yourself and your children to notice the subtle sensations in the body, the rhythm of the breath, and the spaciousness around and within you. You can model this by saying, “Let’s just pause for a moment and feel our breath. What do you notice in your body right now?” This practice helps us to touch upon the unconditioned ground of our being, a central theme in Dzogchen, where we realize that peace is not something to be achieved, but something that is already present.
- Mind the Gap: Discovering Pure Awareness
Dedicate time to notice the space and gap between thoughts. These aren’t just empty moments; they are glimpses into the pure, unconditioned awareness that Dzogchen points to. When one thought subsides and another hasn’t yet arisen, there’s a brief, luminous pause. Ringing a gong or sound bowl can be a fun way to get your child’s buy-in. Ring the gong and then have them raise their hand when they can’t hear the sound anymore. Extend this further by asking, “What did you notice in that moment of silence before the next thought came?” For adults, you can practice this by simply observing your thoughts without engaging them, and gently resting your attention in the spaces between them. This helps to de-identify with the constant stream of mental chatter and recognize the underlying spaciousness of mind, a key aspect of Dzogchen practice.
- Spend Time in Nature: Merging with the Natural State
Nature is an amazing healer and a powerful mirror for the natural state of mind described in Dzogchen. Walk in the forest, jump in the ocean, or lay on your back watching the clouds. Feel as though you are entering the internal temple (your own body) and you are leaving any unnecessary thoughts, worries, or fears at the door. Allow yourself to be present by attuning your senses with all you see, hear, and feel, but go beyond mere sensory input. In Dzogchen, we learn to recognize that the external world and our internal experience are not separate; they are both expressions of the same vast, open awareness. As you observe the trees, the sky, the water, allow your mind to become as expansive and unconditioned as the natural environment around you. Model this for children by encouraging them to not just see, but to be with the elements, fostering a sense of interconnectedness and effortless presence.
