by Megan Larson: There is a Tibetan saying about a lion and a dog. If you throw a ball to a dog,
the dog will immediately chase it. If you throw a ball at a lion, the lion may go after you instead of the ball. This metaphor highlights the wisdom of the lion: rather than chasing after thoughts, it turns its attention to the subject. This is something we often miss in our everyday lives when we are caught in a web of cascading thoughts. It takes courage to pause and look inside our minds and directly at our thoughts. Often when we begin this process it can be overwhelming and feel like we are sticking our heads into a garbage can. However through meditation, we learn how to observe our thoughts rather than following them. This takes the courage of a lion.
Without awareness, thoughts multiply and turn into stories. These stories we tell ourselves are profoundly powerful. Most of the time, they do not accurately describe our reality; yet, they shape our moods, direct our emotions, dictate how we relate to others, and influence how we navigate our environment. Human beings are natural storytellers who make sense of a chaotic world by organizing events into meaningful plots. However, when these inner dialogues about how we see ourselves and others go unquestioned, they can quietly alter our perception and cause suffering.
On a societal scale, we carry collective narratives that define who belongs and who does not. These stories are often rigid and can be remarkably destructive—categorizing people into “others” or enemies, and solidifying our shared reality into a primitive “us versus them” mentality. As individuals, the stories we hold about our identity can be just as destructive, quietly stealing our inner peace. Through psychological projection, we can unconsciously cast our unexamined fears and fixed concepts onto the people around us. In doing so, we react not to the person standing in front of us, but to the character we have written for them in our minds.
The most crucial step in breaking free from an unhealthy narrative is cultivating awareness—the ability to step back, question our thoughts, and notice when we are lost in a narrative rather than experiencing reality directly. Consider the word story. The suffix -atory (or -ory) comes from the Latin -ātōrius, meaning “relating to,” “tending to,” or “serving for.” This offers a compelling question to ask of our inner dialogue: What are our stories serving?
When we realize a story is playing in our minds about a person or situation, awareness becomes the circuit breaker. Rather than fighting or arguing with the thoughts—which often embeds us deeper into the narrative—we can practice noticing and stepping back to observe the story without taking it as absolute truth.
Here are four ways to use awareness to unhook from a story:
- Name the Narrative: The moment you feel a surge of emotion (like anger, defensiveness, or inadequacy), label the mental process. Instead of saying, “They don’t respect me,” say to yourself, “I notice my mind is telling me the ‘disrespect’ story.” This simple shift in language creates immediate space between you and the thought. The delineation between you and the thought is the critical healing ingredient.
- Locate it in the Body: Stories live in the intellect, but emotions manifest in the physical body. Shift your attention away from the “why” and onto your physical experience. Where are you holding this story? Is it a tightness in the chest, a knot in the stomach, or a clenched jaw? Bringing curious, non-judgmental awareness to the body grounds you in the present moment.
- Investigate with Gentle Inquiry: Ask yourself: “Is this thought 100% true, or is it an assumption?” or “Who would I be right now if I dropped this story?” Inquiry isn’t about finding a new argument; it’s about testing whether your perception matches reality. Often when we inquire there is a freedom that opens immediately.
- Anchor to your Senses: A story is almost always about the past or the future. To unhook, drop into the immediate present using your senses. Name three things you can physically see, feel, or hear right now. Reality is happening here; the story is happening in your head.
Questioning our inner narrative is a powerful way to clear internal space when fear, confusion, or anger take over. The popular acronym for FEAR—False Evidence Appearing Real—is a brilliant lens for mapping our consciousness in those moments.
Recently, a friend and I watched a red-tailed hawk circling against a wide blue sky. High above the earth, it seemed to float over the clouds with a vast perspective. Mindful awareness offers us that same elevated vantage point. By zooming out above our immediate thoughts, we find a space free from stories and gain the clarity to see reality as it is.
