by Jana Prokava: For a long time I didn’t trust myself and questioned most of the things I was doing. I was often looking for reassurance, approval and acceptance from others…
All of this ‘not-trusting’ myself came from an early age. My childhood was colourful and beautiful, but at the same time, it was filled with constant worry about what others thought of me, how they perceived me and whether I was ‘good enough’. I’m not going to talk about these experiences today, because I’ve shared some of them with you before. However, what I’m going to briefly talk about is how I learnt to trust myself, my decisions and believe in the work I do, with the hope that it will inspire you.
I’d like to say at the beginning, that for me personally, this wasn’t an easy process. I’m still working my way through some blocks and un-learning some old, unhelpful beliefs.
But a huge breakthrough happened for me, in my twenties, during my pilot training. This phase of my life allowed me to learn to trust myself more. I became more confident in decision-making, relying on my own judgements, taking action without second-guessing myself, and all of this brought so much self-belief into my life. I realised that if something was important to me, I can absolutely make it happen.
So, let me share with you a few more things that helped me to trust myself even more. I hope they will inspire you.
I stopped second-guessing myself:
I stopped constantly double-checking with others, if something I’ve done or thought of was okay, good enough, acceptable enough. This was exhausting. I created a new belief that, if I liked what I’ve done, it was absolutely good enough and what others think of it is only their perception, filtered through their consciousness. And this has nothing to do with getting a second opinion or taking advice from someone. There is time and space for that too. It is simply owning your decisions, believing in yourself, in your work and standing fully in your power regardless of other people’s opinions.
I stopped questioning my creativity:
Every project that has ever been created could’ve been better. But if we were always trying to make something ‘even better’ and never complete it, nothing would ever get done and seen the light of the world. I’ve decided to stop questioning my creativity. When I felt something was ready, it was. And this particularly applies to when you are about to release something publicly. Will everyone like it? No. Could you have made it even better? Of course you could. But there also comes a time when you have to draw a line. If you feel it’s ready, it is. When I look at some of my past creations I can see so much room for improvement, there is no doubt about that. But the younger version of myself who created them felt they were done, and done the best way I could possibly create them at the time. If we wait for perfection, nothing will ever get done. Learning to stop questioning my creativity and simply acting on it has been life-transforming.
I stopped seeking people’s approval:
Having expectations of other people, for example, whether they are going to approve of something I’ve done, was painful. Of course it hurts when you put so much time and effort into something and people simply dismiss it or criticise it. However, what hurts even more is constantly seeking someone’s approval. It makes you feel edgy, ensure of yourself, and yes, less trusting of yourself. I had to lose that. I had to learn to fully own what I do, and have no expectations whether someone will approve of it or not. All I had to do is act on my inspiration, trust the process of my own journey, trust my decisions and stop questioning myself.
I hope these examples have inspired you.