by Dr. Alberto Villoldo: Once you transition to the dream of love that is unconditional, you will be able to practice love without conditions, without a scoreboard…
Unconditional love is wild and fierce, still and tempestuous. It demands nothing yet requires everything. It is easy to love those who love us. When you are able to love one who will never love you back, you will discover true power.
We have all heard the platitudes that “Love is the Answer” and “Love is All there is.” It sounds good and we would like to find the light being, the living Buddha, in everyone. And yet, we may find it difficult to find a Buddha in someone who you don’t believe deserves love. Try asking yourself, who is the most loathsome being you know or have heard of? Then open your wiracocha and sit quietly`.
Can you set aside your emotions for a few moments, set aside judgment, and find compassion for them, knowing that something created their negative engagement with life. Love does not excuse the atrocities committed by a tyrant – just the opposite. It allows us to heal that part of us that despises ourselves for finding the villain within us. Mother Teresa is famous for saying she became a nun serving the street people in India because she found the Hitler within her.
Love is a state of being that accepts your own shadow parts, the ones that you are ashamed or afraid of and brings those aspects to the light for healing. Love is a choice, you can be satisfied with merely loving those parts of us and others you find acceptable, or, you can become love.
When you become love, you immediately heal your separation from the source of all things visible and invisible, one of the core wounds Shamans find in their clients. Healing this wound by healing aspects of ourselves that we despise leads us to experience true love for ourselves and others. No longer trying to hide those aspects of ourselves, we become truly invisible.
When we try to hide aspects of ourselves that we don’t like or that we feel make others uncomfortable, those are the first things others notice about us. By hiding our real selves, we hope we will be more likeable or lovable or worthy. Lacking self-love you continually find yourself engaging in a familiar dance where you unconsciously look, and find, someone who doesn’t value you. You get validation of your perceived lack and the other gets validation that withholding praise, love, or attention is a motivator that works to their advantage.
Loving ourselves, we step out of these dysfunctional relationships, get in touch with our essential selves, and see the Divine in others. From this place, we can practice paying Love forward, without expecting anything in return.