by Donna Quesada: 1. Listen to great music. Even better is dancing with it.
But if dancing is not an option, listening in your car, while taking a pleasant drive is also one of my favorite instant-therapy modalities
Why it works: Music affects us on a level that goes beyond the mind and its worries. It bypasses the rational system, meaning… we can’t fight it. Even if you want to stay upset, the music will lift you anyway. It raises our heart-rate, releases feel-good hormones, and makes our soul soar.
As an aside, music is so powerful, that melancholic music serves a role, too… it helps us feel connected to the universe when we are down, which in itself, is soothing. But for the purposes of instant-therapy, choose something bouncy to feel good quickly!
2. Move your body. If possible, take a walk outdoors. If weather doesn’t allow, put some music on and dance! If injuries don’t allow, do whatever you can do, even if it’s just moving your arms or legs in rhythm, while seated.
Why it works: Like music, movement releases happy hormones, like dopamine, into your bloodstream so that the process of feeling better becomes magical in its effortlessness. In other words, you don’t have to talk yourself down. And you don’t have to recite positive mantras or meditate for two hours. It just happens.
This isn’t to say that putting into place other long-term strategies, like psychotherapy or breath-work, etc., wouldn’t be a good idea. It might be. But when you are tired and upset and need quick relief, any kind of movement can bail us out immediately.
3. Go into nature. When you’re surrounded by nature, you’re drinking up a feast of sights, sounds and sensations. It is so heavenly that anything else that was weighing you down dissipates of its own accord. That is to say, even if you want to continue brooding, you can’t.
Even if it’s just the neighborhood park, pick yourself up, drag yourself outside, and go sit on the park bench. The squirrels are chasing each other up the tree, the female birds are yelling at the male birds to bug off, the breeze is playing with the leaves… and all of it is funny, sweet and enchanting. You simply can’t stay in your head for too long. Open up all of your senses… touch the dirt, and yes, smell the flowers!
Why it works: Interestingly, we don’t fully understand the mechanism of nature’s healing ways. I’m not sure we need to know, either. It’s part of the mystery and magic of being alive. The most beautiful things in life, like love and beauty, are beyond analysis and description.
With that said, there seems to be something to the sense of connection that we feel when we are immersed in nature. We feel… without exactly knowing why, part of the infinite.
4. Get a massage. Taking the time to do something healing for yourself, and employing self-care, makes you feel special. We spend most of day running errands and taking care of others. We are CEOs of our lives, making phone calls, sorting out problems, and paying bills. When we make time for ourselves, it restores a sense of a life well-lived…a life that’s rich and well-rounded in terms of balancing both our own needs with the needs of those around us, and balancing our business affairs with our personal care.
Why it works: Massage releases endorphins into the bloodstream, which reduces stress levels immediately. It facilitates relaxation, when our mind is too busy to let us relax. In this sense, it bypasses the mind altogether, by going straight to the muscles. Due to the power of touch, massage also activates the release of the hormone oxytocin, which obliterates stress on the spot.
5. Call a friend. I grew up in a religiously mixed household. On my Jewish side, the role of a trusted friend in one’s life was always emphasized. Having a friend to talk to is highly valued, not just as a means of companionship and support, but for the purpose of connection.
Why it works: In the context of a trusted friendship, just the mere act of sharing is healing and validating. To be there for someone gives your own life meaning. It takes you out of your own self-concerns. And having someone to go to when you just want to be heard is invaluable. You help one another navigate challenging times, while offering support for each other when things get rough.
Sometimes friendship even surpasses the ties of blood relatives.
