by Vera Helleman: When people hear the word ’addiction’ they immediately think of; drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, porn or that sort of thing…

But being addicted to food, watching TV; the smart phone, face book, love, spending money, sport, spiritual shopping……..think of a couple more, are all forms of addiction. We all have a tendency to look for distractions if it stills the disquiet and agitation within ourselves. Even if this distraction is an unpleasant one. Addiction starts as a nice form of distraction but becomes an enslaving, habitual pattern.  Addicted to habitual distraction brings us even further from where we want to be…..at inner peace. Ease. We have forgotten who we really are. Using something in the outside world to supress the agitation that we feel is another way to escape the present moment. The NOW is the portal through which you merge with yourSelf, with the stillness that you are.

Addictive tendencies are very human, you will see this once you start to understand how the ego operates. The ego is terrified to death of taking on the NOW. This is the fear you feel.  Fear is exactly what makes you look for distractions and escape routes. Everything is better than standing eye to eye with the NOW. It is the fear of perishing, of being completely overtaken with intensity and dissolving into the fountain of love. Help! It sounds like a paradox but most of us don’t even know we are running away. Before we can comprehend this we unconsciously follow the convulsions of the ego.

What not to forget is to be mild about your self once you admit that you also have one or other form of addiction. You chose safety. Everyone has the tendency to try and escape the NOW. However one type of addiction is more destructive than another. Every escape from the NOW makes you placid. Unhappy. No longer connected your Self and to life. The ego will do everything it can to ensure it’s longevity, that’s how it’s been programmed. So be alert and conscious enough so as not to be tricked into assenting with it.

We’re Turning circles around ourSelf.

Referring to a ’me’
as an idea
is what brings
on the agitation
and unrest.

Let’s zoom in on the moment before your addiction gets activated. We quite easily forget this as it is only a fraction of a second; it is the exact moment that you become conscious of ’me’. What may surprise you is that a lot of the time we are unconsciously free of identification. At that moment you will feel agitation arising because it is not naturel to leave your true state of being. When you identify with ‘’me’’, when it becomes present, you‘re perspective becomes dualistic and disconnected with your Self and source.

Most of our little ’me’s’ are conditioned to thinking that they are not good enough. It has to be better, even more different and refer to all sorts of ideas. Referring to a ’me’ as an idea is what brings on the agitation and unrest. ’I’ am agitated, ’I ’ am bored, ’I ’ have to do something that I’m not looking forward to, ’I’ don’t want to think about what gives me pain. To escape this agitation we look for distractions.

If you had no awareness of a ’me’; which feels this or that and wants things different, then everything would effortlessly flow through your energy system and there would be no need to supress anything. However since childhood most of us have learnt and gotten used to trying to control the thoughts and feelings of little ‘’me’’ and trying to influence what’s going to happen to this little ’me’. It’s really unstarted business, which you probably already guessed. This is the widening gap between your true nature and your supressed state; which can only function by using addictive substances and set routines.

I feel the pain of so many people who suffer under this……it gives so much sadness to have ‘’lost’’ your Self. It’s hard kicking off an addiction as it asks tremendous courage to be receptive to everything that manifests in the NOW. This means that you have to let yourself be vulnerable. And most people know intuitively that being vulnerable opens up to that what you wanted to keep hidden. Pain, sadness, agitation, boredom, being unsure of yourself, anger….There is enormous fear that we’ll be totally emerged by a tidal wave, and we can’t control it. So there is no support, nothing to hold on to. But actually, what we think is going to happen usually tends not to be that bad at all. It is but one moment of death, one moment to pierce through the agitation and fear. This happens all by itself if you just stay for one moment in the NOW instead of running away from it. STOP!

When the time comes and you recognise how you’ve hurt your Self by ignoring it and being a slave of the ego, then you will have no other choice but to be true to the NOW, true to your Self. Taking on being a human Being. There will come a point that you won’t be able to carry on with the ego’s obsessive games because it just hurts to much. Then you can only observe, and become soft and open. Surrender to your heart. At that moment you will meet your Self…right at the bottom, there in the emptiness. The ego hasn’t a clue what to do with the silence. The habit that wants to grab you doesn’t have an audience any more. Just let it be silent…Only in silence can new seeds grow and can new depths become apparent. Let go and let your humanity flood through you without manipulating it what so ever. It’s Ok to experience sensations. They are not ‘’yours’ they only come through you. It doesn’t mean anything to your little ’me’. Refuse to listen to the stories that started up before. Try and feel, smell, hear the NOW just as it IS. And become aware how silence comforts and embraces you.

The Now is
always at Peace.
Referring to ideas
stops, as the little ’me’
cannot exist in
the absolute NOW.

When totally in union with your Self, in the NOW there is no longer the need for surrogate, weak infusions. You have discovered that the Now is mysterious and dynamic, that it’s an adventure and even more friendly than you ever imagined…That’s when your awareness changes. And the wonder of life reveals itself to you. The Now is always at Peace.  Referring to ideas stops, as the little ’me’ cannot exist in the absolute NOW.

However habitual patterns sometimes need a lot of time to settle down. Stay vigilante. Be mild about your obsessions and remember that what you are chasing after is empty. What you have been trying to protect has been given a lot more charge than needed. Be prepared to be vulnerable and soft. Time and …time and time……again….