by Dr. Alberto Villoldo: The shaman understands that we are attracted to those people that we have to learn with and learn through…
We are looking for that person who can help us heal our wounds, who can help us find ourselves.
Many of us start out hoping that we have found the perfect partner, but end up feeling as though we don’t recognize the person as we once did. But instead of ending the relationship we can instead become the right partner by going through this series of initiations that I did with my wife, Marcela.
Begin with the first chakra and then examine each of the seven chakras on the body in turn and make a commitment at the level of each chakra.
At the first chakra: How are you going to help each other with your survival needs, your basic identity needs, and are you going to commit to each other in meeting your most fundamental needs? Do you feel safe? Can you disclose who you really are, and not who you want others to see you as? Can you trust this person to not hurt you if you show your soft underbelly? This is what it’s all about, and you have to be willing to reveal yourself, and to talk about it – which can be scary and painful.
At the second chakra: How are you going to embrace the Other for who he/she is – and all the gifts, blessings and curses? Are you willing to receive them and embrace them and commit to help the Other discover the fullness of their being?
At the third chakra: How can you acknowledge, respect and contribute to each other’s power and expression in the world without feeling threatened by it?
At the fourth chakra, the heart: How can you dedicate yourselves to practicing unconditional love – and by that, I mean love that is not conditioned by our upbringing, by mommy and daddy. Unconditioned love is based on honoring the Other.
At the fifth chakra: How can you respect each other’s voice? Can you make a commitment to hear the Other deeply, to be a good listener, to be a careful witness to your partner and invite their voice to be developed to its fullest, versus a hidden whisper for fear of offending?
At the sixth chakra: How can you support each other’s vision of your journey in the world?
At the seventh chakra: How can you have a joint spiritual practice?
You must go through the seven levels of deep commitment for a fulfilling relationship, because if you have only six – say you haven’t connected at your second chakra, your sense of self, and you don’t feel you are being received or respected by your partner – it’s not going to work.
If you do the work at each of these levels, then you can grow the kind of relationship that can thrive, even in the most challenging of times.
Do you have the courage to engage in these Love Initiations?