by Gangaji: Over the years of traveling around and speaking with people, I have seen that there is clearly a deep, strong, and true desire to wake up…
whatever that means to any particular individual. There is a true desire to realize God, to realize truth, to stop the violence, to stop the hatred, to stop the suffering, and to wake up to what is possible in this lifetime. If you want to awaken one hundred percent, if that has priority over everything else, then immediately you are awake. That’s the truth. I stake my life on it. My life is a guarantee that if you want to awaken to your true nature, if you want that totally, you will awaken to your true nature.
The biggest obstacle to awakening I’ve seen so far is that awakening is actually wanted for something else. Awakening is wanted for feeling better, or so that you don’t have to be the same person you think you are now, or to get some recognition, or to forget all the bad things that you have done or that have been done to you. Awakening is wanted as a vehicle or a tool, and there is frustration that this tool is not given to you. This doesn’t work. Truth must be desired for itself, regardless of any consequences that might follow. This is a shocking truth. We are so used to wanting something to make our personal lives better, and God knows, we have tried. Luckily, most of us have become deeply disillusioned with the possibility of getting rescued, of getting something else that will fulfill this true desire to awaken.
I am asking you to look inside, to be ruthlessly, relentlessly honest and truthful with yourself, to see why you want to awaken. What will awakening give you? If your answer is something beautiful or grandiose or altruistic, such as peace on Earth or harmony among all people, put that aside for just a moment and see if truth, this unknown state of awakening, is desired for itself, regardless of consequences. I am asking you to tell the truth. We spend most of our lives lying in both gross and subtle ways. The lying gets very intricate, and the web gets tighter, and you know this.
There is an opportunity now, in this moment, to discover what is it you want for its own sake, without getting any comfort from it, without it taking care of anything. I can feel the fear that this evokes. This is not a usual consideration. It’s very easy to play in the drama of awakening, saying, “Oh, I’ll get it someday,” or “He has it,” or “She has it and I will just be in the aura of it, then I can keep my lies and my web.”
You are an adult. It is time to tell the truth. I am asking you to tell me what it is you want truly for its own sake, and if you still imagine somehow you don’t have that, let me know what you imagine keeps you from it. Let’s examine it and see, is that obstruction to truth real or is it part of the webbing, part of the fabric of your imagination.
