Adapted from Second Sight: An Intuitive Psychiatrist Tells Her Story and Show You How to Tap Your Own Inner Wisdom (Three Rivers Press, 2010) by Judith Orloff MD
When we’re looking for love (or under its intoxicating influence), we often miss seeing extraordinary signs and messages that pop up in our daily life to give us clues as to whether we’re on the right track. However, if you can slow down enough to recognize and listen to your intuitive intelligence, it can reveal truth, warn you of danger, or help you understand people and relationship situations in new ways.
From Second Sight, here are five types of intuitive experiences you may encounter, and what they can teach you about your love relationships.
Body signals.
Your body has many ways of getting your attention. It could be goosebumps when a date feels just right or says something about you that rings “true.” Or it might be your hair standing up on the back of your neck when a creep replies to your online dating profile.
How to use it in romantic relationships.
Most commonly referred to as a “gut reaction,” your body’s response to the world around you is often instant–quicker, in fact, than your conscious thought. Next time you sense your body is trying to alert you to something, check in with it. Are your shoulders tense? Is there a knot in your stomach? Or do you feel energized and excited? When you learn to read your body signals, a whole new type of information will be available to you. What’s more, you may be able to avoid getting involved with destructive, unhealthy lovers, or be curious to pursue a really good guy who, at first blush, doesn’t seem to be your “type.”
Déjà vu.
This is when you feel as though you’ve had this exact conversation before with someone–even if it’s someone you’ve just met–or you’ve been to this place before and know what’s around the corner and up ahead, even though that’s impossible.
How to use it in romantic relationships:
Instead of thinking it’s strange and then moving on, don’t let the experience go unremarked. Discuss it with a trusted friend, or write it down. Bringing a déjà vu experience that happens in the context of a relationship into the open energizes it, acknowledges its significance, and enables you to find out what it’s trying to tell you or where it’s trying to lead you. When it comes to romance, déjà vu can be a powerful affirmation that you’re doing just what you’re supposed to be doing in the moment. Or conversely, it may be a way of telling you to pause, think, and reflect on where you are right now, before proceeding ahead willy-nilly into a relationship you’ll regret.
Synchronicity.
This is the experience of perfect timing, such as when you’re thinking about a song right when you hear it on the radio, or the computer guy you found in the yellow pages turns out to be someone you had a mad crush on in college.
How to use it in romantic relationships:
Stay aware and look for synchronicity everywhere. Such moments let you know that you’re in the flow–in the right place, at the right time. See if you can uncover its hidden significance. Were you meant to bump into this old love? Is the song “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” trying to tell you something about that “bad boy” you’re crazy in lust with at the moment?
Seeing beyond.
This is when you’re tuned in to an event that’s happening right now, but in a different place. For example, you think of a long-lost boyfriend, and then he sends you an email in that instant. Or, you call your guy at work and ask him to pick up a pizza. Turns out there was a deadly accident on his regular route home.
How to use it in romantic relationships:
Your entire body–not just your brain–acts as an intuitive receiver, so the more conscious you become of your whole body, perhaps through a discipline like yoga, the more likely you are to tap into realities outside of your immediate setting. They will come to you in snapshot-life flashes–a taste, smell, sound, or a feeling in your body. Jot down your impressions. The better you get at tuning in, the clearer the messages will become. When two people are really “clicking,” such experiences become even more commonplace, such as having intuitive flashes about your lover’s health, or about where you two might be living in five years.
Intuitive empathy.
This is when you “pick up a vibe” from another person. For no apparent reason, you suddenly sense a person’s deep loneliness, or you feel hostility coming from a person who is smiling at you.
How to use it in romantic relationships:
Being sensitive to other people’s nature is a valuable skill–but it comes with perils. If you feel drained after meeting someone at a party, for example, pay attention so you can avoid giving him your phone number. Learning to “read” other people’s feelings will improve your romantic relationships, as long as you don’t “take on” others’ moods and emotions. For example, when you can sense your boyfriend had a bad day, or is tense after talking on the phone to his mom, you can ask him questions to get him emoting. Such empathetic communication deepens and enhances love partnerships.
