by Sadhuguru Jaggi Vasudeva: The first thing to do when bringing up a child is not to influence your child’s mind with your distorted mind. That is the first step you need to take. Yes, a child can become exposed to many other rotten minds — the possibility is very much there, because rotten minds are everywhere in the world. You cannot totally isolate your child from that. But you can at least make sure your child is not influenced by the distortion of your mind.

Now you are asking, “What should I do? What should my child’s education be? How should I guide my child?” You just encourage your child to be intelligent, to be aware. Every being has been given the necessary intelligence to fulfill its life. An ant is born — study it and see. It appears that it has all the intelligence to live an ant’s life fully. It may not be able to do what you are doing, but as an ant, the necessary intelligence for being an ant is there. The same goes for every creature. You too have the necessary intelligence to live your life to the fullest.

The problem is that you want your child to be intelligent your way, not your child’s way. Your idea of intelligence is that your child should become a doctor. Maybe he or she would make a wonderful carpenter or artist, but you want your child to become a doctor. Not because doctors are needed in the world, not because you care so much about relieving suffering that you want your child to dedicate himself or herself as a doctor, but simply because you have an idea in your head that in the social structure, a doctor or engineer means some kind of prestige or some other nonsense for you. You want to live your life through your children. This is a sure way to destroy children. This is a definite way to destroy children.

Your child need not do what you did in life. Your child should do something that you did not even dare to think of, something that you did not even have the courage to nurture a thought about. Only then this world will progress and something will happen.

Every child has the necessary intelligence to live his or her life fully. Just create an atmosphere for them to grow into their intelligence rather than imposing your nonsense upon them. When it comes to influencing them, their teachers will have a role, their friends and other sections of the society will have a role. You can’t help it; you cannot build a sanctuary for your child, or worse, a sanitorium, but still, as a parent, you can play a very important role in allowing the child’s intelligence to bloom.

First of all, if you have come to the idea that when a child is born it is time to teach, then you will ruin the child. When a child comes into your life, it is time for you to learn. A child is just looking at life. Just sit with your child and look at life afresh. The only thing that you can do to your child is give love and support; intelligence will grow. That is all. Create a loving atmosphere, meaning a pleasant and vibrant atmosphere, for your child where intelligence will naturally flower.

If you want to bring up your child well, the first thing is to realize that you should be happy. Right now, people do not know how to be happy by themselves. Every day in your house, there is a demonstration of tension, anger, fear, anxiety and jealousy. These things are being demonstrated to your child. What will happen? He or she will learn only these things. If you really have the intention of bringing up your child well, you must first change your way of being. If you are incapable of transforming yourself, where is the question of you bringing up your child?