by don Miguel Ruiz: To love is one of the biggest challenges for humanity. In attempting to understand love, people are pulled farther and farther away from the truth of love.
We divide love into many different categories and create all kind of rules about the way we should feel, the way we should react and the way we should behave. We force the meaning of love to fit into concepts of right and wrong, good and bad or smart and stupid, and we use that knowledge in order to judge everybody. Mostly we judge ourselves.
When we become aware, it is easy to see that everyone has a completely different and unique point of view, and out of every point of view comes a different set of opinions. Every opinion has the power to influence another person’s beliefs and to modify another person’s behavior. Opinions rule our lives, and they are the result of something we call knowledge.
You can say that knowledge is the accumulation of symbols to which we have given meaning and power. Since we were born and first learned to speak and to listen, each of us used knowledge to create a self image that is not based in truth. We have come to believe what we think we are, and those beliefs have become extremely powerful.
Everything we believe is just an agreement. We create entire languages out of agreements. It is not so difficult to take the power away from those agreements, those symbols, and make the whole thing meaningless. When we do, all the power comes back to us.
Knowledge is meant to help us communicate with our own kind, but we have allowed it to become a tyrant. Every species has created its own symbolism, through sight or smell, taste or touch. Step into a forest and see the way all things communicate. Trees are talking to trees. Birds talk to birds, flowers talk to flowers and ants talk to ants. The amazing thing is that we can see the universe as it exists without words. The symbols we humans have created make it possible for us to talk to ourselves, but what can we tell ourselves that we don’t already know?
Try to imagine yourself as you used to be, before you understood the meaning of a word or a symbol. If you can see the pure authenticity and power of yourself at that time, then perhaps you can understand what I am sharing with you. We all know how a baby brings out our instincts to give and to protect. We are inspired and deeply moved when we are around babies. A baby doesn’t need to do anything or say anything. It is simply the presence of a new being that awakens those emotions in us.
That is how you once were. Just your presence was enough to stimulate so much emotion in those around you. Of course, I am talking about your presence before you learned how to use the meaning of words against yourself, particularly the word love.
In the name of love, we hate. In the name of love, we grieve, we despair, we pity ourselves and others. In the name of love, we become jealous and possessive. In the name of love, we perceive injustice everywhere. So it is easy to see why everyone is afraid of love in one way or another. We see love coming and we have two opposing instincts – to run toward it and to hide from it. We desperately want love and at the same time we are certain that it will hurt us. And of course our bodies will react to the pain. In the end, human behavior depends on how each of us reacts to love.
Everywhere we look, we can see how relationships are being controlled by this false idea of love. Whether the interaction is between parents and children, between friends or between sweethearts, love is our excuse to feel pain and to cause pain. When we can see that, we have a chance to live in happiness. We can finally enjoy life, without remorse, without drama and without judgments. We can live authentically, which means we can exist as the presence we once were and still are.
There is no need to be confused by love. People have been searching all their lives for love because they believe they are not love. We are love, even if the word itself creates distortion. We are love, and we are the life that created us.
That is how I see everyone. I love everything as it is. I love every one of you as you are and as you perceive yourself. I have total respect for whatever is in your head, and for whatever story you tell. You can believe what you want, or change what you believe. It is your choice.
In all moments, your creation is waiting for you.
