by Grace O’Keeffe: Yoga For Men?

No thank you, we like our guys stressed out, anxious and with a higher risk of heart disease.

1. It’s fun to have lower back pain, right?

Try an upward dog with your four-legged friend
Yoga has been shown to have a significant impact on lower back pain for both short and long-term issues. But I’m sure you’ll just deal with it like a man.

2. Who needs sleep? We love men with a touch of insomnia and dark circles!

And why would you want to waste time doing yoga once a day, when you could be spending that time awake at 3am watching a compilation video of cats and dogs squeezing into things.

3. Could you even deal with all the extra balance, stamina and flexibility?

Probably not and that’s why you shouldn’t do it, especially since you never get aches, pains or any tightness. Ever. Therefore there would be no logical reason to improve your quality of life.

4. You’re already, like, really good at sports. So you couldn’t possibly get any better.

Tigers bikram YogaTigers players working up a sweat during a Bikram yoga session.

Wrong, you could, if you did Yoga. But there’s no proof that it would actually improve your performance, I mean what do regular yogis such as LeBron James and the whole New Zealand All Blacks rugby team know, right?

5. We actually don’t like men who live longer than us.

Studies have shown that Yoga can significantly reduce your blood pressure and stress and anxiety levels. All factors that can contribute to a shorter lifespan. But what do you care, you’ll be dead.

6. Also, why would doing something that makes sex better be of any interest to you?

Studies have shown that ‘Yoga appears to be an effective method of improving all domains of sexual functions’ in men. Which is obviously dumb, because it’s not like anyone even likes great sex.

7. Of course we would love for you to join us…

But we know better to think that you would ever want to participate in any activity that could make you live longer, have better sex, and all round level-up your own body…Oh well, a girl can dream!