by Donna Quesada: Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh said it most simply: “While you pound the pillow, you are not calming or reducing your anger—
you are rehearsing it. If you practice hitting a pillow every day, then the seed of anger in you will grow every day.”
He goes on to explain that we have to get to the roots of anger in order to quell its fire. And rather than give free reign to it and thus strengthen its hold, it is best to discover the origin and complexity of its roots. This is not a passive exercise. It is an active process of recognizing the many perspectives that heretofore lie hiding, while bringing our mindful awareness around it. And then we sit with our fury while it shakes about and goes through its process. A bit like cradling a crying baby.
In this practice, we create space for new perspectives to emerge. We enable compassion to swell up in the place of anger. The coolness of deeper insight becomes water to the fire.
This is not a practice that encourages suppression. In this practice of mindfulness, it is rather, the conscious act of recognition, that becomes the healing force.
Directions:
Sit comfortably in meditative position. Elongate your spine and take a couple of long, cleansing breaths in your own rhythm. Welcome your anger. Talk to it like an old friend, saying things like, “Hello my friend, Anger, I know you are there… You are safe… I am here with you.”
Now deliberately inhale into it, saying, either out loud or silently, “Experiencing the feeling of anger in me, I now breathe in.” And as you exhale, say, “ Smiling to the feeling of anger in me, I now breathe out.” Repeat this step three more times, and then simply sit for a few minutes while breathing normally. Continue to bring your compassionate awareness around the emotions that you feel, while simply watching… and breathing.
Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that when we bring this kind of mindful energy around our painful emotions, the Buddha is born within us.
