by Ed and Deb Shapiro: Given the state of the world today it’d be totally understandable if we were dreading the holidays,
the new year, or whatever might happen next, instead of feeling joyful and full of anticipation.
Yet this new year has a very special effect: it makes us believe we have the chance to start over, to do things better this time, to make amends, even to right all the wrongs in the world.
So why does it take a new year to make us feel like this? Why is it that for 364 days we live with regret, doubt, holding on to what we did wrong and wishing we hadn’t, or dreaming of a future that doesn’t exist?
No matter how hard we want to there’s one thing we can never do, and that’s change the past. We can weep, beat our fists against the wall, or eat bags of cookies to assuage the guilt, but it won’t make the slightest bit of difference and won’t make us feel any better. The past is done, over, no more.
Continuing to wish that our actions, words, or behavor had been different means we’re not here in the present moment, we’re living in what-could-have-been or what-might-have-been or if-only. If the past is too painful or even too boring then we switch over to the future, that place of infinite potential that we want to believe could be real, like wishful thinking or a daydream. We live in what-might-be or what-could-be.
Of course, we can learn from the past. Often the most painful experience turns out to be our best teacher; we can even feel gratitude for the experience as it taught us so much. But memories can be like comfortable old shoes we are reluctant to part with. We can certainly put them on now and then, we just don’t have to hang out there on a permanent basis.
Instead we can change our attitude. Fully accepting that the past is irreversible and the future doesn’t exist means we can actually be in the present moment. What a relief! Finally, we can just be here and now. Wow! What a revelation!
Today is a very special day. It has never happened before and it will never happen again. And we have no idea what will come next.
What a great day just to be here now! The perfect day to let the past rest where it is and let the future take care of itself. As is every day. To experience just this moment, to pay attention to the colors, sounds, smells and sensations. To pay attention to your feelings, to other people’s feelings. And to make this moment, this day, this week, this month, and the coming year one of awareness, presence and love.
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Ed & Deb are the authors of: The Unexpected Power of Mindfulness & Meditation, and The Art of Mindful Relaxation. Deb is the author of Your Body Speaks Your Mind, now in 19 languages.
