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Family Constellations or Order of Love with Vlado Ilic

Love is all embracing and it expresses itself only in freedom


Are you always falling for the wrong partner?  Are you hard working, but money just seems to be avoiding you? Is it difficult for you to establish a good relationship with your child or maybe your boss?  Are you taking on too much, rushing from one meeting to the next, and you keep forgetting that the most precious things are actually happening at this moment, here and now?  Are you suffering from a chronic illness?

Faced with life crisis, we don’t manage to come to the root of problems, so we are often forced to painfully relive them. The core of our problems can be hidden in a difficult experience and unresolved feelings we went through during our childhood, youth and adulthood; or maybe the pain reached us through a trauma experienced by our parents, grandmas and grandpas, or more distant ancestors.

We are not rootless or self-made.  Our ancestors have sowed what we reap today: the good and the bad.  Whether we are aware of this or not, our ancestors and our immediate family determine our life to a great extent. Sometimes blockages and entanglements from the past are passed on from generations to generations, and they affect the descendants.  Family Constellations, also known as Order of Love, is a very effective way of overcoming these blockages.

The official name of this method is Family Constellations.  It represents the so-called “field of knowledge” in which we use representatives to go back to the place where the blockage was created.

We can sort of guess just from the name itself what this method is all about.  When in the family there is a resistance towards the mother or the father, for example, this problem shows up in other areas of our life as well, at work or in our relationship.  Traumas our ancestors experienced are imprinted into our genes and very often, they represent blockages in this life, here and now.

The essence of this method is to gain insight into the hidden dynamic of the root of the symptom.  The knowledge gained through work at the seminar has a healing effect.  Through family constellations, a path towards love opens, love that resides in all of us.  Resolving blockages enables love to overcome the dam and start flowing again.  In order for it to work, love needs space which we can make only when we free ourselves from judgment, blame and narrow perceptions. Love is all embracing and comes out only in freedom.

How can Family Constellations contribute to our lives?

Order of love gives us permanent solutions in overcoming issues that limit us.  Years of experience and over 30,000 plus constellations in the order of love field, have taught me that losing the privileges and certainty of being a victim, a patient or a sufferer, is the most frequent reason for resistance towards family constellations.  Attending the seminar even just once can help to open up the healing perspective, but what will you do with yourself the way you were if nothing is missing anymore?  Resistance arises from the unconscious fear of losing the essence of your existence, which you imposed upon yourself over the years of “nurturing” your issues or illnesses.

What’s important to me in my work at order of love seminars is the starting point.  The client often cannot describe what bothers him, or cannot decide which issue out of so many is the most important – whether to work on himself or for a sick child, etc…  It’s on me to help him tell me what’s bothering him the most, what’s the most painful, the reason he came without even realizing it.  Those who don’t want healing feel fear as if deeply in their subconscious they are asking themselves: “What will I do when I get cured, I might lose my identity, and my life will have no meaning?!”  Some clients even get upset and leave, but some stay and there comes a shift in their consciousness and they heal. No constellation at the order of love workshop is the end, but only a beginning of something new.  Mere awareness in the moment is the most important…

We have a wide variety of choices and nothing we decide is final, or absolute, and nothing is wrong.  We always choose what we are ready for at that moment. What we have chosen at that moment is precisely what we need in order to get to what we are not aware of.

When we are not ready to see something and to integrate it, it falls into our shadow, it sinks into our subconscious, and then, because it grows within us, that shadow encompasses us, becomes powerful and determines our life.  Instead of living our life, we live the life of a shadow.  When it uproots itself deeply into the unconscious, it becomes our fate.  This can sometimes be initiated by some trans-generational problem or trauma, but we bring it on ourselves through the laws of resonance and laws of polarity.

This would mean that at the physical level, symptoms of illnesses are what we clearly and visibly live in, what we want to suppress and hide in our psyche…

Universality is the link, the link between the order of love and the new, so eagerly anticipated by the upcoming new age.  If we had the matriarchy and then the patriarchy, this new age can be the integration of the two.  Striving to integrate our mother and father, symbolically through polarity of the feminine and masculine within us, we can integrate everything.  This is the order of love’s mission – to better handle ourselves in the new age, the age of integration and the age of love. The goal is to dedicate ourselves to our life issues, so they don’t turn into illnesses…  I strongly believe that this is the road sign of the new age, to go back to family in a new way, to stop wasting time on unimportant things, as much as they seem attractive, but to spend more time enjoying ourselves with our loved ones…

We are all children of our age and our individual consciousness contributes to the collective consciousness.  This direction of our individual consciousness comes from the source of what we experienced – the deciding moment responsible for whether or not we are going to realize and experience this transformation as something painful, full of suffering and problems, or something freeing and empowering that can uplift everything and everyone we come in contact with. 


Love is what integrates opposites, order of love is the way of love which opens and fuels something into us, something that was only on the outside before…

This is why it’s called the order of love.  Some people are turned away by this terminology – the name “order of love”, because order implies something rigid, programmed, controlled, on one hand, but on the other, we have love, something wild, intangible, fluid, and this is the essential, the most grand  energy.  How then do we connect those two?  We don’t need to connect them, because they are not separated.  Order of love is in its essence already connected, opposites are incorporated like the yin and yang symbol.  On one side, we have the black, and on the other, the white.  We also have ether, that quintessence (quinta essentiain Latin – fifth essence, fifth substance) which connects the black and the white – this is order of love!  Love with rules, but cosmic rules.  When these rules are broken, there comes illness and suffering.

Is there a difference between physical and spiritual suffering?

We as holistic beings cannot see our body separate from our soul, that’s impossible.  People used to talk about so-called spiritual patients, but today this term is no longer being used.  How can the soul or spirit be sick?  The spirit is healthy, but everything we didn’t manage to digest at the soul level, shows up at the physical level as a consequence of irresponsible behavior.  This is how illness happens – physical illness, physical pain, symptoms… What do we do?  We usually try to destroy them.

Should we fight against illness in order to be healthy?

How can we beat illness? These energies are much bigger and stronger than us.  We can win a battle or two, but not the war.  Therefore, we should not fight the illness, but try to use it as a friend.  Of course, we should not be in love with our illness.

The outside, so-called global world, is full of changes which very often seem as labor pains.  We are becoming more and more aware of the fact that we are all full of endless possibilities, which we need to discover within us by finally taking responsibility and self-responsibility for ourselves and our environment, hence for the world we live in.  We need to finally wake up out of a “century long dream” and use everything that’s within us for our benefit and for the benefit of those around us, for our development – the moment we realize our responsibility and accept it.

Old structures have been falling apart for some time now, making space for the NEW.  For many people, this can be linked to the issue of freedom. Freedom demands a new definition. All possibilities are within us and in front of us. This demands a new attitude.  It’s also time for responsible decision making.  This awareness is more and more present in each and every one of us.  In this age when everything is possible, realizing strength for conscious decision making becomes of great importance, in order to choose the essence of every one of us.  This guidance can be of help when facing the NEW AGE.

This is why the way we treat ourselves and those around us is very important, what we buy and where, how we dress, do we only follow the latest fashion and wear synthetic clothes or we value that the cotton we wear has been organically grown without pesticides, insecticides and other poisons; what we wash ourselves with, what products we use – if we use lotions manufactured in the laboratories of any conventional cosmetic companies, do we know that we are putting industrial oil on our skin which clogs our pores and creates addictions; where is the food we eat coming from, is it loaded with poisons of the modern day production, or has it been organically grown without the poisons; how do we handle media, do we ingest everything they serve us through the radio, television, and the internet, or do we at least sometimes consciously turn off that box, without wanting to know all the bad that happens in the world; what kind of movies do we watch, which music do we listen to, who do we hang out with, how much quality time do we spend with our loved ones, in the oasis of our strength, within our family; what do we say, what do we think about, how much love is in our actions and behavior towards others…

When and where can we experience your work?

Our Order of Love – School of Life has seminars in Europe and North America.

More information about our Los Angeles group can be found at

For European events people can get more information at

What are the benefits of the School of Life:

This is what you will learn at the seminars:

  • How to free yourself of all the negative effects of trans-generational traumas in a safe and secure way with professional help;
  • How to find the path of your own being through a hidden structure of family systems;
  • How to adopt a new way of understanding what is happening in your life, which gives you a new insight and strength to change what is hindering you in your growth;
  • How to creatively awaken the healer within, the one who resides in all of us but is often asleep or afraid, the one we can wake up together at the seminars and allow it to help you;
  • How to feel the positive energy of the field in which work on your issue takes place and doesn’t end with the seminar, because the awakened emotions within you continue to live.

Further Education at the Order of Love – School of Life:

  • Training for personal growth and development: students gain useful tools for leading a fulfilled personal and professional life.
  • Training for future therapists:after education, therapists can offer their clients the option to use all the benefits of this method in reaching inner peace through acceptance of everything that happened in the past.
  • Business consulting:insights into causes of all the blockages in business and the possibility of resolution, clearly visible directions in further business and prosperity.

Experiences from the Seminars

“My first encounter with this method at a seminar provoked disbelief and even shock.  It was as if I fell into a group of people who speak a different language.  I left the workshop, but I always wondered whether or not I gave a shot not only to this method but to myself, to change something in my life.  I read about order of love for months, I listened to other people’s experiences and then finally, when I felt ready, I went back and set up my constellation.  When the therapist brought in representatives for my parents whom I was supposed to say I love you to, that I did everything out of love for them and it was time for me to live my own life, I burst into tears.  And you should know that I never cried before.  Not much time later, I finally felt that I was living my own life, not somebody else’s.”  Marija Tankosic, age 44

“I was going in circles for years.  Difficult situations and problems just kept repeating like an old film. At a seminar, I discovered that being loyal to my mother who remained married to my father, and with whom I had a bad relationship, caused me to choose involved and demanding partners. This literally opened my eyes. I tried to accept my parents as they are, without judgment.  I could say that now we have a decent relationship.  I also learned that my parents do love me, regardless of how they treated me, and I always remind myself that I don’t have to be afraid of losing their love.”  Isidora Kljajic, age 34

Vlado Ilic, professor of German language and communications, family constellations Teacher, was born in 1962 in Smederevo, Serbia.  He studied in Belgrade, and then in Germany, where he also lived and worked in management training at Audi Academy.  While in Germany, he studied about family constellations from the founder of this method, Bert Hellinger, without aspirations to be a therapist. However, after he experienced clinical death which followed an anaphylactic shock, and then a heavy car accident, his path towards “Order of Love” was determined.  He facilitates seminars and education for systemic therapists in the entire region, as well as in Germany, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Canada and the United States.  He’s the author of the book “Culture of Conflict” published by Laguna, and a creator of the guided meditations program for personal growth and development, in Serbian, English and German languages. He’s also a father of six children.

Through his seminars and education, Vlado offers caring assistance and support in thematic works in which over 28,000 people participated.  His contribution to the method itself was the introduction of parallel constellations, which made him unique in the world.  Through the seminars, workshops, educational groups and publications, he carries the message of love, reconciliation and healing all around the region (Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, Bosnia and Hercegovina…), in Europe (Germany, Ukraine, Russia, Bulgaria) and in North America (USA and Canada).

In the book “Culture of Conflict”, he clearly implies how to overcome our weaknesses by learning from the conflicts that are an integral part of our life, whose real cause, but also the hidden solutions are found deep within us.

Family constellations is a method of traditional medicine made official by the Ministry of Health in Serbia (2007) and Ministry of Health in Montenegro (2009).

Source: AWAKEN


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