by Donna Quesada: He Grows You—

I remember when I asked for a divine message in order to better understand Jesus’ crucifixion. I had just seen a documentary that recounted the development of the Jesus Movement, which took place on the west coast in the late sixties, and my interest was roused. In the documentary, several followers were asked about their experience and why they wanted to join the Christian revival group. One follower responded very simply: “He grows you,” he said. I loved this and I pondered it for days.

One night in my bed, as I was thinking about this… he grows you… I also wanted to connect the dots to the story of the crucifixion, since the usual explanation always seemed deficient to me, even as a girl. But I knew that the real story had to be beautiful. And so, surrounded by my grandmother’s statuette of Mother Mary, which sits by my side, a painting of the 16th century Indian saint, Guru Ram Das, which hangs on the wall above me, and St. Francis, who sits by the foot of the bed and watches over my dogs, I put the question to the room… what, really, is the meaning, when it is said that Jesus sacrificed his life for us?

All Rivers Lead To The Sea—

Things tend to skip a generation. Because my mother had been raised in the Italian Catholic tradition, she rebelled against it and swore not to ever push religion on her own kids. And perhaps because it wasn’t imposed on me, I was all the more curious and open to it… all of it and all traditions. But, when I’d ask about the meaning of things, especially the crucifixion, the usual response went something like, Jesus died for your sins. And he took the ultimate punishment for us because we are sinners.

Although I wasn’t satisfied, I still felt drawn to Jesus and especially to Mary. But I was also drawn to Krishna and Buddha. I never saw any conflict of interest. Why can’t all paths be seen as beautiful, each presenting a slightly different river cruise experience which ultimately ends up in the same sea? It seemed to me that if Jesus and Buddha sat down together, they’d recognize the awakened nature in one another and share bread together. It is we, feeble-minded mortals, who make an issue out of it by putting one path over another.

The Same Essence Revealed—

The true message of Jesus’ sacrifice is wonderfully parallel to the eastern teachings that I have spent my adult life exploring: You are not your body…

And even more wonderfully, this is also the key to understanding the relationship between “he grows you,” and the message of the crucifixion: If I expand (grow) my sense of self… beyond the fleshly bounds of this body…beyond its aches and pains, beyond its limitations, beyond its mental limitations, beyond the ever-prized thinking mind, and if I extend my concept of self to infinite and inconceivable placeless-ness… then nothing can hurt me because ultimately, I am not this body.

What we are is something more subtle than the physical body. We are beyond our thoughts and worries, beyond our precious identities and reputations, certainly beyond our to-do lists and our earthly problems. Beyond sickness, old age and decrepitude. And beyond birth and death. We are spirit. We are eternal. We wear this body for a little while and then we shed it, as a caterpillar sheds its skin to reveal a chrysalis. And after the death of this body, we carry on into new forms. Or perhaps we just cast our light from afar as we play with one another out in the universe somewhere, like shooting stars.

Everything and Nothing—

To conceive of ourselves as infinite and eternal is really no different than the Buddhist teaching of emptiness… I am not a separate self. There is no distinction between me and everything else. I am the sun and the stars and the moon. I am everything. I am the body, the lungs, the oxygen that sustains the lungs, the plankton and the trees that make the oxygen, and the sunshine that makes it all grow. I am all of that and therefore nothing at all.

And so, nothing can hurt who you really are… you are spirit. There is no death. Who you really are will live on forever. But Jesus had to illustrate it, because we’d never believe it through explanation alone. He had to show us. And then… Watch me rise!

Jesus and Buddha were like the yogis of old that remind us, when we are suffering, “you are not this body;” they are hoping to wake us up from the illusion of permanence and snap us out of our earthly attachments. Thus, the crucifixion was not about sins at all!

However, in the sense that He “grows” us, we have the potential to become infinite in every way… infinite in our capacity to give, and to FORgive… Infinite in our capacity for compassion and empathy. Infinite in our capacity to be patient… and to understand and be present for others. And thus, infinite in our capacity to become better people. This happens without the dogma of sinning and punishment, concepts that were later superimposed on these teachings, like a commonplace veneer needlessly slathered over wood, covering the beauty of its natural grain.

Not Just Theory—

These teachings aren’t meant to be just armchair philosophy. They are supposed to serve as a source of comfort when life feels overwhelming. So, if we knew in our hearts, that death was an illusion, how would it improve our lives?

To begin with, we would know that the thing we fear is fear of death disguised. All of our angst is fear of extinction under cover. So, we wouldn’t worry so much about the outcome of things… we’d allow ourselves to just experience this moment because it is fleeting, just as we are. We’d appreciate everything and everyone that inhabits this moment with us all the more… because it’s all just a bubble in a glass of champagne.

And just like that, this realization, this Self-realization would bring a profound shift to inner peace. We’d know that we are Source. And everything is Source. We are everything! Like the Beatles lyrics, “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.